Do you think you love me that much?” That’s the question she asked me the very first time I proposed to her. I’d been chasing her for about a month. I met her through a friend and I thought she was beautiful. Not only that, I thought she was graceful the way she carried herself about. She would get up from her seat and smile before she shake anybody’s hand. I asked my friend, “Is she single?” She answered, “Erica? If she had a man I would be the first to know. She had been single for over a year now. I knew her boyfriend but now she had none.” I asked her, “Can I…?” She asked me, “Can you what?”
The full question was, “Can I have her as my girlfriend?” But then it dawned on me that I didn’t need my friend’s approval before I go for what my heart wants. So when she asked me, “Can you what?” I answered, “Nothing. Just forget it.” She told me, “If you want her, you won’t get her on a silver platter. I know Erica.” I answered in my head, “If I won’t get her on a silver platter, I will try a ceramic platter. Who knows? I may get her on that one.”
So before the program ended that day, I tried my best to get her number. She smiled while mentioning the numbers to me. I was wondering, “Does she smile like that all the time?” I thought I was thinking the question but somehow, I heard her say, “Yeah, I smile a lot. It’s the reason people can approach me easily.” I said, “I like the way you do it. I will like to see it often. She grinned. My friend came around. She asked, “What are two talking about?” She answered, “You left us alone so we are making use of the time available to us.”
When I got home I called her. I thought about her all night and the moves I was going to use to get her; “This that I won’t get her on a silver platter, how many platters should I approach her with? Let’s say she says no to the ceramic platter, should I go with an aluminium one next time?” All night, my mind was filled with her thoughts and how I could make her mine. When I woke the next morning, I sent her a message; “Good morning Erica. I hope you had a beautiful night.” She answered almost immediately, “Yeah I did. How about you?” I answered, “I slept very well. I even dreamt about you. You were smiling.” She sent a laughing emoji. The one with closed eyes and head tilted to the left. She said, “Good for you. I don’t usually dream.”
We talked about dreams. We moved to talk about work. We circled around her interest for a while. And then she said, “I’m getting ready to go to work. If I don’t answer your messages quickly enough, it’s because my hands are busy.” I was blown away. I said to myself, “A girl like this doesn’t need a lot of platters. The ceramic one will work.”
A week later we were out on a date. It was fun and exciting. She had answers to every question I asked. She asked a lot of questions too and I had answers. When the night was getting older, she asked for permission to leave. I asked if we could do it every weekend; “I mean if we could hang out every weekend like this.” She answered, “Yeah I’m almost always free. If the mood is right, I will meet you wherever you want me to meet you.” We said our goodbyes and drew down the curtains for the night.
During the week I texted her my proposal. “Erica, I’d come to love you. You’re someone I will like to have in my space all the time. The way you smile. The way you bring conversations to life and the way you’re weightless to things that weigh me down, I will like to have you here all the time. I’m in love.”
Minutes later she called; “Do you think you love me that much?” I answered, “I do. Will you give me the chance to prove it to you?” She answered, “We met not too long ago. It might be infatuation. It might be that there’s this little thing about me that you love. Give yourself some time to know the big things about me and decide if you still want me.” I answered, “Erica, I’m not a high school boy in love with a high school girl. I’ve lived this life for close to three decades. Dear, three decades is enough for me to know what love is and it’s enough for me to identify who I love. What I feel is true.”
“Then I’m the one who will need a little bit of time to process what you just said.”
A little bit of time took over a month. She was nice to me through it all but anytime I brought the proposal into the conversation, something about her changed. One day I forced her for an answer. We were out like we often do. She was sitting across from me and doing nothing but being beautiful. I pushed for an answer. I told her, “Even if it’s a no, just say it. We are both mature. It won’t be the first time I’m hearing ‘no’ and it won’t be the first time you’re saying no to someone so what’s there to fear?”
She cleared her throat. She put the glass she was clinging to down and started, “You see, I’m a woman with needs. I need this and I need that. The important kind of stuff. I need a man who can take care of me. Do you understand me? I want to be given a monthly allowance, enough to make me feel that I’m something in your life. A year from today, we should be married or getting close to marriage. You won’t date me and keep me in the room. I like it this way. We go out often, have fun and go home. I don’t want a man who will visit me empty-handed. Don’t come with the world but come with a piece of it. When I’m in need and I come crying to you, I don’t want you to make me feel like a gold digger. You’ll be all I have so who should I run to with my tears? I know men call girls like me material girls, I don’t like that. It’s the reason I’m spelling it all out before we move forward. Think about it. If I’m still the one, call me and I will say yes to you.”
My face changed. My mood was affected in a negative way. “How could a girl want all these from a man she’s in love with? Is that not gold-digging? Monthly allowance and gift each time I visit? No, not me.”
So for the days ahead, I thought of withdrawing but she called every morning asking how I was doing and how my day was going to be like. I loved her but I don’t think I could be true to her demands. I spoke about it with a friend and he laughed at me. He said, “Then this girl diɛ she’s asikafoɔ levels ooo. Monthly allowance? Doesn’t she work?” But I’ve had some time to think about it critically. I feel like she’s being honest with me. I’ve dated women who didn’t state their demands but in the end, demanded more than Erica is talking about. I feel I should give her a chance and see how things go but the little voice in me keeps telling me, “You’ve seen fire and you still want to swim in it? You’re on your own.”
I want to know what you think. Is that a big red flag? Should I rely on her honesty and say yes and see how things go? Please tell me something.